Poor planning

"Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen pounds nineteen and six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery."
-Wilkins Micawber

Oops. The untimely confluence of UC tuition and co-op payments this week has resulted in a serious cash flow problem.

I’m no stranger to radical fluctuation in my bank balance, and over the years I’ve developed some pretty effective coping strategies for avoiding kitchen misery. Not that anyone is likely to go hungry around here, what with the 200 pounds of local organic meat in the deep freeze. But we do want a little variety and I like to provide it without breaking out either the credit card or the Top Ramen.

When I was a kitchen manager at Andres Castro Arms in the 70s, my profligate ways once caused the budget to run out two weeks before the end of the semester following a special dinner involving caviar, steak, and (aptly named) chocolate decadence cake. A letter went out to the 52 residents and 2 boarders that we were now on poor-house rations. No more Captain Crunch. No more pork chops. No more guacamole. Necessity is the housemother of invention, though, and new challenges for the resident cooks resulted not only in numerous interpretations of classic vegetarian Hippie Hash, but also innovative dishes like “Zesty Lymph Gland Whoopee” - a casserole of rice and tomatoes, onions, peppers, and chorizo (read the label sometime). Some of us revisited this infamous creation at a co-op reunion years later – ah, the memories.

In Washington in the 80s I discovered bulk potatoes, which at 10 cents a pound provided many a Thursday-night mashed-potato meal for me and my buddy Kelly after we’d squandered our weekly Commander Salamander commissions on Mary Quant eyeshadow and Betsey Johnson fashion accessories. Desperate times, desperate measures, but fortunately my housemate Ira never noticed the missing milk – at least he never mentioned it. Thinking back on an hour-long house meeting (presided over by Ira and endured by me and the four other residents) concerning the fate of a pot of soup left on the counter to cool, somehow I think he would have said something.

These days I’ve got a ready list of dinner possibilities for when the funds run out. As most everyone knows, pasta is ideally suited for such times. Here’s one of my end-of-the-month standbys, which you can make for under a dollar a person. It’s from Patricia Wells’s Trattoria.


Spaghetti con olio, aglio, e peperoncini

(note: kitchen manager experience taught me to bolster morale by making sure your bargain basement dinner has a fancy name)

1 lb dried spaghetti
½ C plus 2 T olive oil
6 large garlic cloves
½ t crushed dried red pepper flakes
½ C chopped parsley

Add the pasta to a pot of boiling salted water and cook to al dente. Drain well.
Meanwhile, in a large unheated skillet, combine ½ C oil, the garlic, the red peppers, and a pinch of salt. Mix it around with a spatula to coat the garlic with oil, and cook over moderate heat until the garlic just turns golden but not brown (2 to 3 minutes). Add the drained pasta to the sauce. Toss, add remaining 2 T oil, toss again, and cover. Let rest off heat 1 to 2 minutes. Add the chopped parsley and toss again. Serve immediately, with a green salad on the side.


Pasta 79 cents
Garlic 25 cents
Oil 50 cents
Parsley maybe 25 cents, or grow your own like we do
Salt, pepper flakes – under 5 cents
Salad (from a head of lettuce, with homemade Italian dressing) 1.25
For 4 people: 77 cents each. At that price, two of you can each have a glass of two-buck Chuck and still keep the average at just about a dollar apiece.



After dinner, make a bowl of popcorn, open up the latest red envelope from Netflix, and snuggle up with somebody to watch a movie. Don’t worry about the cashflow –as Mr. Micawber assures us, something will turn up.